


X-Rated Thoughts

by jas_onlyhuman119



Series: All Castiel and Dean (sometimes everyone else) [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A-Z Drabble Challenge, Baby Crib, Crib, Dean and Castiel are going to be parents, Dean complains a lot, Funny, Human Castiel, M/M, Sam is Dirty Minded, Sam was Mistaken, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Surrogacy, Swearing, X-Rated Thoughts, complaints, funny?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 19:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11297427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jas_onlyhuman119/pseuds/jas_onlyhuman119
Summary: Sam walks into Dean's and Castiel's house thinking that the young couple is doing what a lot of young couples do.In other words, Sam thinks that Dean and Castiel are "busy" when they're really not doing anything like that.





	X-Rated Thoughts

Dean and Cas didn’t hear the front door open as they were… busy upstairs. From the looks of the living room - clothes scattered everywhere, furniture moved around and knocked down - and the line of clothes going up the stairs, Sam knew the couple was definitely busy. So to entertain himself until the young couple finished, he sat on the non-messy part of the couch and flipped on the TV.

I guess they don’t need my help after all, Sam thought as he turned to the cooking channel, his favorite healthy foods chef was on.

“Come on, Cas, push it in.” Sam heard Dean say.

“I’m trying, Dean.”

“My legs are cramping, man,” Dean grunted. “Cas, push!”

“I am trying. Now, if you’ll be patient.” Cas chuckled.

Dean groaned. “Fuck! Hurry up.” He practically whined.

“If you stretched like I told you to, instead of brushing it off, we wouldn’t be in this predicament.” Sam listened to Castiel lecture as he turned up the volume.

“I didn’t think I needed to.” Dean panted. “Fuck! I didn’t know that I would be in this weird ass position.”

“Or you could’ve done yoga with me and you would've been fine as well.”

“Not another word about yoga, Cas.”

“Dean, move-”

“I swear to God, if you say the c-word, I’m slapping you when we’re done.”

Sam could hear both of them as they grunted and panted, along with Dean’s periodically swore.

“Oh, my back…” Sam listened. “Cas, stop, stop!”

_Crash_

“Dean, are you alright?”

At that point, Sam got up and ran up the stairs, but stopped short at the only room with the lights on.

“Hey, are you guys okay?” He asked from around the corner.

“Sam?” He heard Cas say over Dean’s groans. “Yes, we’re fine.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing, Sam,” Cas sighed. “Dean just decided to lift the crib with his back instead of his legs.”

“You said the c-word.” Dean said pitifully.

Sam chanced a look in the room and there he saw Dean laying on the ground and Cas knelt next to him. The crib that they were trying to get into the room was caught against the corner of the room and wedged at an angle against the wall. Both men were fully clothed, save for Dean’s shirt, and a little sweaty and out of breath.

“Why can’t we say crib?” Sam asked before Dean shouted,

“C-word!”

“Because,” Cas said calmly. “Dean is in denial that we are actually going to be parents in about two months. Anything relating to the b-word or our surrogate makes him whine. Why? I don’t know the answer to that.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, clearly unsure of why that would upset his brother.

“What took you so long, Sam?” Dean asked from his spot on the ground. “Cas and I needed your help with the c-word.”

“Sorry, I was on my way home from the market when you called. I had milk in the trunk.”

Dean groaned and smacked his head against the floor. “I blame you and your x-rated thoughts for not getting here sooner.” He grumbled. “I heard you turn up the volume on the TV.”

Sam awkwardly rubbed at the back of his neck as he asked, "So... what did you need help with?"


End file.
